I’ve developed a horrible fear of abandonment. Everyone close to me leaves, bar a few.
When someone tells me I’m important to them, I am instantly skeptical. I just want someone to prove me wrong.
Nights like tonight I appreciate my best friend so much. I love that she understands everything and makes me feel 100% better about life. 💘😘🎀💋💎
Homemade hommus on toast, poached homegrown eggs, baked beans and spinach, and tomato, mushroom and spring onion, and avocado :) #nom
You left. And you said you wouldn’t and you did. You lied.
And there’s just just this huge gap that you used to fill and nothing fills it no matter how hard I try.
I’m sad and lonely and hurt and this sucks to explain but I feel like I’ve lost a best friend and I wish I didn’t care.
you can pretend like I dont exist but I still made you whimper like a little bitch when you were about to cum
(via curseoftheoilsnakes)
Posting so I remember this is in future, while I’m in this mindset:
I am a fucking awesome person. I am not perfect. But if we are friends, I would do literally, anything for you. I will try to cheer you up when you’re down, I will rescue you from places that you don’t want to be, I will supply you with anything you need, I mean fuck, once someone I met online didn’t have food so I bought them shopping. I will literally do anything in my power to make you feel better about yourself. I will send you birthday cards and presents and try to make you smile. I will listen to your problems until you can’t vent any more. I will give you advice, to the best of my ability.
But, I am so fucking done, if I do all this for you and you treat me badly.
If you stop talking to me because your girlfriend doesn’t approve of our platonic friendship, done.
If you stop asking how I am, because I’ve lifted you up so much that you are completely self involved now, I’m done.
If you refuse to help me or simply even express an interest in my life, I am fucking DONE.
I am not a doormat, and from now on, I refuse to be treated like one. If you don’t care about me, other than as someone to make you feel better about yourself, get the fuck out of my life. You aren’t welcome. I deserve better than that.
365 days of posi #2, #3 & #4
~ cute lingerie that makes you feel happy
~ spending lots of money on clothes
~ new makeup
~ renewing an old friendship that I thought was long gone.
~ it’s now past the 3 month mark for my best friends pregnancy so she can finally tell people, I’ve known since about 6 seconds after she found out and I’m super excited to make a huge basket with cute baby things in it for them :)
~ get to find out sex of said baby soon! :)
~ going to sleep late but waking up early and refreshed
~ getting better from the flu slowly but surely!
Got inspired to chuck a suss at my MySpace tonight haha here’s a selfie from my 18th birthday.
365 days of posi #2
~ eating purely veggies and fruit for the last 2 days
~ being well enough to WANT to get dressed.
~ listening to elvis all morning. He gives me shivers.
~ forgetting how much I love jersey shore. we used to have sleepovers when new eps would come out and watch them over and over and it makes me smile remembering when things weren’t so shitty with some friends.
Pet fucking hate is when people push and push for you to trust them, and tell you that you deserve to be treated well, and that you should let people in and that everyone that fucked you over in the past is an asshole. Then when you finally trust them, they go and do exactly the same thing.
I don’t mean to sound like a cynic but how the fuck am I meant to open up and trust people when whenever i do, it’s hurts more than before?
365 days of posi #1
~ today I am home after 2 weeks in Canberra, I’m sick, but so happy because I get to sleep in my own bed.
~ time away from my best friend sucks but makes me appreciate her so much more.
~ ocean sights and smells are awesome to come back to. I grew up in such a beautiful place.
